Eternity

I just hope that certain things won't last forever. I feel like I am trapped in the "pause" mode during a movie. Everything is passing by me at super high speeds or super slow speeds, but I am not moving forward at all.

I don't want to blame anybody. But I do feel that I really need a little bit of luck at this moment to pull myself out from this misery. I know I am supposed to run my own race and shouldn't bother what other people are doing.

I just feel extremely alone. Maybe I am not trying hard enough to do something about getting out of this situation. For sure though, there is a long waiting list for everyone. When will I ever find a job? When will I ever find someone who loves me? I am tired of trying.

Last night I went to see a performance by the New York Chamber Orchestra and the Masterworks Festival Chorus at Carnegie Hall. The blending of singing and instrument was just so beautiful and heavenly. There was so much passion in the music, it shed a slight beam of light for me. Hear sample here -


I know life is not supposed to be easy. And I do find my happiness through little things. I do appreciate the incredible warmth of sunlight from today, the refreshing vermicelli noodles that I was able to eat within a few train stops, the super creamy cone that I got at McDonald's and etc, etc.

God help me look at things at another perspective and continue to be positive!